As a precaution we are warning you that during the upcoming winter season in the Utica, NY area there will be snow. Everyone should make sure they are prepared for a range of different levels and consistencies falling in our area at variable range of speed.
Please make sure as soon as the snow falls you complain and post messages to your Facebook or twitter account if you’re a real nerd (in multiple message format) about dreading the snow, having to drive in it and the amount of fools who are also driving in it with you while doing a poor job. Your friends and family will be glad to know that you wished summer was back, how much you miss camping and the amount of stress that comes with snow for your life in particular.
When snow falls In Utica, you must talk about it on Facebook and Twitter
On the flip-side, you may also experience moments when you’re not in a rush or maybe on a Sunday when the snow is falling in your backyard and you’re looking out over it grasping your coffee cup with both hands and having a so-called “Tasters Choice Moment”.
If you experience either of these things when its snowing in the Utica area, rush to your cell phone, tablet or computer and immediately update your social status acknowledging the situation. Please piss off friends who also know its snowing, but think you’re ridiculous for reminding them. Inflame colleagues that you car has been in a heated garage all night and you do not need to shovel, scrape or deal with the elements but will still be late to work due to you need for a gingerbread latte.
If you all follow these instructions winter should be fine and everyone will remain to be dealing with the weather as it comes.
I miss Kewpie’s and I love Utica greens.